This article is part of my book.
Our values form the foundation of our lives; they determine the decisions that we make and the direction that our lives take. In the words of John C. Maxwell, “Your core values are the deeply held beliefs that authentically describe your soul.”
The first step is to acknowledge and take responsibility for the life that you have created. If your values aren’t in alignment with your vision, there will be resistance, in the form of a tremendous amount of push, effort, and willpower. Alternatively, when you align with what you truly desire in life, you will experience more ease, less effort, and a greater sense of fulfillment.
If you want to determine your core life values, start by figuring out what’s REALLY important to you. When you do so, you can choose beliefs and habits that ensure that your life aligns with those values. Are you ready to determine your core life values?
Without further ado, here are the way to live core of life
1. Set goals and write them down. Set goals by month, year, 5 year, and 10 year periods. Know what you want to achieve for each stretch of your life, and make sure to look back and see if you actually made the progress you wanted. This list will constantly evolve and you won’t reach every one of your goals, but writing your goals down will make it more likely that you will achieve them.
2. Don’t live for others. Don’t choose your path in life based on the expectations set on you by others, whether its your parents, friends, or society in general.
3. Live for others. Don’t let others choose your path for you, but don’t choose a path that will hurt those around you. Its easy to get caught up in your own life, but if you don’t take care of those you love, what is it all for in the end?
4. Maintain an internal locus of control. There are 2 kinds of people, those who focus on what they can control, and those that focus on what they can’t. Don’t blame others for your own failure – there’s always someone out there who was dealt a worst hand that made more of it than you did.
5. Don’t complain. If you’re not happy with something in your life, you can complain about it, or you can actively work to change it. Which one will you choose?
6. Don’t be jealous. Not because its morally wrong, but because jealousy is a destructive emotion. Its also a symptom that you’re not living your life to the fullest – people who are fulfilled can celebrate other people’s success. People who aren’t fulfilled fill up their emotional void through negative emotions.
7. It’s OK to fail. The only way to avoid failure is to not try anything. Don’t be afraid to fail…that’s how you succeed. Besides, it’s only really a failure if you stop trying.
8. Overcome fear of failure by visualizing the worst case scenario. A great way to overcome fear of failure is to confront your worst possible nightmare. If you try it and fail, what is the worst thing that will happen? Write it down, then write down what it would take to get back to where you are now. 99.9% of the time, you’ll find that the worst case scenario isn’t nearly as scary as you thought it would be and the only thing holding you back is your own mindset. The .1% of the time where failure will push you past a point of no return (so basically, death or life altering physical harm) – those are you may want to reconsider.
9. Ignore the things you can’t (or won’t) change. Ever notice how insanely emotional youtube comments are? People cling to their opinions like they’re a lifeline. Yet these are almost always opinions about things that have absolutely no effect on their daily lives. Yes, there are shitty things going on in the world. Unless you’re planning to do something about it, ignore it and focus on the things in your life that you can change.
10. Change things. You can make a difference – once you stop dismissing yourself. Approach challenges with the mindset of “how am I going to accomplish this?” instead of “what can I possibly do?”. But if you’re not actually going to work to to change something, then see the point above. Time to put up or shut up.